“Computer, speak to me. What’s the weather condition?. Can I wander around?”
“Sir, are you blind? it’s raining outside you should not go and wander around.”
“I am not blind, i just don’t want look outside and don’t say bad thing to me. It’s getting on my nerves.”
“I see sir. you should have programmed me well so that i cannot say any bad thing to you”
Computer, IF human does not exist, what are you? THEN Computer says, I am Nothing
But what IF human exists, what are you? THEN Computer says “of course, I am a Computer! Stupid!
From that conversation, converted into a VBA code or should I say a formula
IF human Exists THEN
” I am Nothing”
ElseIf human = Exist then
“of course, I am aComputer! Stupid!
note: is not equal
= is equal
Let’s try the IF formula in Microsoft Excel
The above example is different from this formula, but the logic remains the same.
Type the following:
- On cell A1 = “If Human”
- On cell B1 = “Computer:”
- On cell B2 = =IF(B1=”exists”,”of course, I am a Computer! Stupid!”,IF(B1=”doesn’t exists”,”Iam Nothing of course”,””))
Be sure you always include = sign for formula procedures
The IF function is the main function here (nothing else lol), IF is readable by the computer
that is when IF is change to IFZXY ,the computer cannot read this function. Meaning, the IFZXY function is not in the vocabulary words but the IF function is in the dictionary itself. Unless…… we insert quotation marks both sides, “IFZXY”, this will make a String but if we’re going to make this to a String, we do not have a function anymore that will command to the computer, so this is a non sense at all
It is much like a reading text written in bad penmanship. We will just insert a question mark after the word and proceed to the next word. Or a word that was a different language, Let’s say,
English –> House
Filipino –> Bahay
Americans do not understand the word “Bahay”, so they ignored it and put a mark on it, vice-versa (this is just only illustration)
After the IF function, we can now proceed to Logical test and value if true =If(Logical_test,[value_if_true])
As you know, If I type the word “exists” on cell B1 that is logical_test, because if the value of B1 cell is “exists”, it triggers our computer to think and to answer our question, so the computer’s answer is “of course, I am Computer! Stupid!” which is [value_if_true]
Now for the last thing, value if false =If(Logical_test, [value_if_true], [value_if_false])
It’s simple as A-B-C!
If the logical test is not correct, obviously the second value will rebound the logical test i.e., [value_if_false]
But as you can see in my formula, nested if, I have two IF functions, one is the main, and the other one is the sub-main
The sub main is in the false value of the main IF, because when the value of cell B1 change it to “doesn’t exists”
the first value (value if true) of the sub main will “Iam Nothing of course” and the [value_if_false] of the sub main is “” which is blank, you cannot say “blank”, because literally the computer will print out this as “blank”
BIG NOTE HERE: Use comma for separation
Is this the real conversation with your computer? I guess it’s a BIG NO!
This the Real Talk what I’m saying about, the real talking computer that will speak to you
minor note: do not be afraid, it is just a program, but you can use it to amaze your friends
Let’s get started.
Open your workbook.
Click Developer Tab
Under Controls Group, Click Insert Drop down
Under Active X Controls, Insert CommandButton
Double click on it
From the code editor copy and paste this inside the Private sub
Dim SpeakToMe As Object
Set SpeakToMe = CreateObject(“sapi.spvoice”)
SpeakToMe.Speak “Hello Mr. Edvinne Capistrano”
Make sure your macro settings were enabled for you to run this .xlsm extension
(if you don’t trust these files, scan first using your anti-virus or anti-malware)